To Bath and be blowed!" when he plumped for _Sir Hugo_.
But henceforth we shall know, though the bookies may laugh,
That this HAY means a harvest, and cannot mean chaff.
Though it lies on the turf, there's no sportsman can rue
That he trusted such HAY when he knew it was TREW!

* * * * *

"RESIGNATION OF AN ALDERMAN."--He had had two basins of Turtle. He
asked for yet another. "All gone, Sir; Turtle off!" was the Waiter's
answer. The Alderman said not a word; he smiled a sickly smile. There
was no help for it, or "no helping of it," as he truthfully put it. He
would do his best with the remainder of the _menu_. The resignation of
the Alderman was indeed a sight to touch the heart even of ROBERT the
City Waiter.

* * * * *

BRER FOX AND OLE MAN CROW.

(_A FABLE SOMEWHAT IN THE FASHION OF "UNCLE REMUS," BUT WITH
APPLICATIONS NEARER HOME._)

[Illustration]

Ole Man Crow he wuz settin' on der rail,
Brer Fox he up en he sez, sezee,
"Dis yer's a sight dat yo' otter see!"
En he show him der tip of his (Ulster) tail.
"Eve'y gent otter have a lick at dis yer,