sort of man, with nothing suggestive of the "P.R." about him, sent
to excuse himself from appearing at our old friend Mrs. RAM's
dinner-party, because as he wrote to her nephew, who read the
letter aloud, "I am off to see Woodhall Spa." "What!" she exclaimed,
"Prize-fighting beginning again! And isn't Mr. WOODHALL or WOODALL a
Member of Parliament? He ought to know better. Where are the police?"

* * * * *

"IT WILL WASH!"--"Abolition of the House of Peers!" No, stop--spell it
with an "a," and make it "Pears,"--now a Company Limited. Going along
in first-rate style. The Pears' Soap Christmas Book, illustrated,
is to be a new edition of "_His Soaps Fables_." Next form of
advertisement,--"Very good morning! Just bought Pears' Soap Shares."

* * * * *

FRENCH PLAYS IN LONDON.--The old saying applies, "They do these things
better in France." London prefers to go to Paris for its French plays;
but when two rivals, a BERNHARDT and a COQUELIN, come over to London,
Londoners give the lady a chance of making her charming voice heard,
but the clever French actor has, literally, to "shut up."

* * * * *

ROYAL DECISION.--When the QUEEN goes from Balmoral to Mar Lodge, Her
Majesty takes a Deesided course.

* * * * *