_Brown._ What nonsense! Why I, as you know, have been in the House for
years and I assure you I have never met a more suitable man for
the place. Why, my dear JONES, you are absolutely cut out for
Parliament--absolutely cut out for it!

_Jones_ (_sadly_). I wish I could think so. But alas, no, after the
Archbishop's letter, I must, I will give it up.

_Brown._ Have you not made the question of the Criminal Code your own?

_Jones._ Yes, but I must admit (and I make the admission with shame)
that years ago at school I was rightly accused of stealing apples.

_Brown._ And was the accusation believed--were you punished?

_Jones_ (_struggling with his emotion_). Alas! it was, and I received
(from the Bench) a severe reprimand. It brings the red blood into my
cheeks--a severe reprimand!

_Brown_. Then you know all about the Libel Acts,--you are up in a
slander?

_Jones_ (_bitterly_). And should I not be? Do you not know that I was
once fined ten shillings and costs for saying that a drunken cook was
intoxicated!

_Brown._ Surely there was not much harm in that?

_Jones._ It was immoral to call the cook intoxicated, and the