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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 51 of 104 (49%)

Well Ethen if you think that why you will be a 100 mi. offen the
track because Ethen I and Prudence sent the kind that gets a
swelt hed over being ast any wares like some of are naybers up
here when they are ast any wares so you see Ethen even if we had
been ast any wares we wouldnt of had no swelt hed. On acct of
being ast any wares.

Well last Thurs. I and Prudence drove old Bessy down to Boston
Bessy is are horse see Ethen which is about 13 mi. from here
Boston I mean Ethen as the crow flys only no crow would ever fly
to Boston if he could help it because all the crows that ever
flew to Boston was shot by them lousie taverin keepers to make
meals out of Ethen I never tast it nothing so rotten in my life
as the meals they give us there & the priceis would knock your I
out. 3 shillings for a peace of stake about as big as your I,
and 4 pence for a cup of coffy. The streets sent the only thing
about Boston thats crook it. Them taverin keepers is crook it to
I mean see Ethen.

After supper I & her was walking a round giving the town the
double O when we seen that Fanny Ewell Hall was all lit up like
Charley Davis on Sat. night & I says to Prudence lets go inside I
think its free and she says I bet you knowed it was free al right
befor you ast me & sure enough it was free only I hadnt knowed it
before only I guess that Prudence knows that when I say a thing
it is generally O. K. Well Fanny Ewell Hall was pack jam full of
people & we couldnt see nothing because there was a cockide stiff
standing right in front of us & jumping up & down & yelling No T.
No T. at the top of his lunges & Prudence says well why dont you
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