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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 63 of 104 (60%)
would have had to have gone to jail, too; but fortunately his
brother came up just at the right time and--"

"Shot the Revenuer dead," cried the children in glee.

"Yes children," said Miss Polly. "He shot the Revenue Officer
dead."

"Oh goody goody," cried all. "Now tell us another story. Tell us
about the time your father killed a Revenue Officer with an ax."

"Oh you don't want to hear that again, do you children?" said
Aunt Polly.

"Oh yes--yes--please," they cried, and Aunt Polly was just going
to begin when Jed the driver stopped his horses and said:

"This hilltop is as good a place to shoot from as I know of, Miss
Pinkwood. You can see both roads, and nobody can see you."

"Thank you, Jed," said Aunt Polly giving him a kindly smile, and
without more ado the children clambered out of the carryall and
filled their guns with powder and bullets.

"I get first shot," proudly announced Robert, the oldest boy, and
somewhat of a bully.

"Robert!" said Aunt Polly severely, and she looked almost ready
to cry, for Aunt Polly had tried hard to teach the boys to be
true knights of chivalry and it hurt her to have Robert wish to
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