"Ay, they've stuffed it down a turkey's crop, and it has got rubbed
up in the gravel with which the ingenious bird assists the process of
digestion. A _man_ who could swallow that gem is a goose."

I am presenting my esteemed collection of ancient engraved stones to
my nephew at school, who shows all the character of the collector.
He may swop them for bats, or tarts, or he may learn wisdom from the
misfortunes of his uncle.

* * * * *

IN THIS STYLE, SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE.

_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ (_rising to cross-examine_). Then you assert that
the golden dinner-service which we are inquiring about was in your
possession on the evening of July 26th at half-past eight o'clock?

_Plaintiff._ I do.

_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ And that when you went to take them out of the
strong-box at 9:15 for your party they had disappeared?

_Plaintiff._ Quite so.

_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ Pardon my suggesting such a thing, but I
am instructed to ask you whether, when you paid £800 to the
rate-collector for arrears of rates on the very next day, you had not
obtained that sum by selling a portion of this gold plate yourself?

_The Judge._ Really, Mr. BADGERER, this won't do at all. "Legal