A man in Kentucky was so absent, that he put himself on the toasting-fork,
and did not discover his mistake until he was _done brown_.

* * * * *


CONSISTENCY.

No wonder Tory landlords flout
"Fix'd Duty," for 'tis plain,
With them the Anti-Corn-Law Bill
Must _go against the grain._

* * * * *


The anticipated eruption of Mount Vesuvius is said to have been prevented
by throwing a box of Holloway's Ointment into the crater.

* * * * *


THE SAILOR'S SECRET.

In the year--let me see--but no matter about the date--my father and mother
died of a typhus fever, leaving me to the care of an only relative, and
uncle, by my father's side. His name was Box, as my name is Box. I was a
babby in long clothes at that time, not even so much as christened; so