LION.--Yes, but then the very rascality of their faces would at once have
declared their purpose. The vulture is a filthy, unclean wretch--the bird
of Mars--preying upon the eyes, the hearts, the entrails of the victims of
that scoundrel-mountebank, Glory; whilst the magpie is a petty-larceny
vagabond, existing upon social theft. To use a vulgar phrase--and
considering the magistrates we are compelled to keep company with, 'tis
wonderful that we talk so purely as we do--'twould have let the cat too
much out of the bag to have put the birds where we stand. Whereas, there is
a fine hypocrisy about us. Consider--am not I the type of heroism, of
magnanimity? Well, compelling me, the heroic, the magnanimous, now to stand
here upon my hind-legs, and now to crouch quietly down, like a pet kitten
over-fed with new milk,--any state roguery is passed off as the greatest
piece of single-minded honesty upon the mere strength of my character--if I
may so say it, upon my legendary reputation. Now, as for you, though you
_are_ a lie, you are nevertheless not a bad-looking lie. You have a nice
head, clean legs, and--though I think it a little impertinent that you
should wear that tuft at the end of your tail--are altogether a very decent
mixture of the quadrupeds. Besides, lie or not, you have helped to support
the national arms so long, that depend upon it there are tens of thousands
who believe you to be a true thing.

UNICORN.--I have often flattered myself with that consolation.

LION.--A poor comfort: for if you are a true beast, and really have the
attributes you are painted with, the greater the insult that you should be
placed here. If, on the contrary, you are a lie, still greater the insult
to leonine majesty, in forcing me for so many, many years to keep such bad
company.