At the recent _fracas_ in Pall Mall, between Captain Fitzroy and Mr.
Shepherd, the latter, like his predecessor of old, the "Gentle Shepherd,"
performed sundry vague evolutions with a silver-mounted cane, and
requested Captain Fitzroy to consider himself horsewhipped. Not
entertaining quite so high an opinion of his adversary's imaginative
powers, the Captain floored the said descendant of gentleness, thereby
ably illustrating the precise difference of the "_real and ideal_."

* * * * *


THE HEIR OF APPLEBITE.

CHAPTER II.

SHOWS HOW AGAMEMNON BECAME DISGUSTED WITH NUMBER ONE, AND THE AWFUL
CONSEQUENCES WHICH SUCCEEDED.

[Illustration: P]Poor old John's alarm was succeeded by astonishment, for
without speaking a word, Agamemnon bounced into his bed-chamber. He
thought the room the most miserable-looking room he had ever entered,
though the floor was covered with a thick Turkey carpet, a bright fire was
blazing in the grate, and everything about seemed fashioned for comfort.
He threw himself into an easy chair, and kicking off one of his pumps,
crossed his legs, and rested his elbow on the table. He looked at his
bed--it was a French one--a mountain of feathers, covered with a thick,
white Marseilles quilt, and festooned over with a drapery of rich crimson
damask.

"I'll have a four-post to-morrow," growled Collumpsion; "French beds are