Of the early history of England nothing is known. It was, however, invaded
by the _Normans_; but whether they were any relations of the once
celebrated _Norman_ the pantaloon, we have no authentic record. The
kingdom had at one time seven kings--two of whom were probably the two
well-known kings of Brentford. Perhaps, also, the king of Little Britain
made a third; while old king Cole may have constituted a fourth; thus
leaving only a trifling balance of three to be accounted for.

Alfred the Great is supposed to have been originally a baker, from his
having undertaken the task of watching the cakes in the neat-herd's oven;
and Edward the Black Prince was probably a West Indian, who found his way
to our hospitable shores at an early period.

We now come to King John, who ascended the throne after putting out his
nephew's eyes with a pair of curling-irons, and who is the first English
Sovereign who attempted to write his own name; for the scrawl is evidently
something more than his mark, which is attached to Magna Charta.

We need say nothing of Richard the Third, with whom all our play-going
friends are familiar, and who made the disgraceful offer, if Shakspeare is
to be believed, of parting with the whole kingdom for a horse, though it
does not appear that the disreputable bargain was ever completed.

The wars of York and Lancaster, which, though not exactly _couleur de
rose_, were on the subject of white and red roses (that is to say, China
and cabbage), united the crown in the person of Henry the Seventh, known
to the play-going public as the Duke of Richmond, and remarkable for
having entered the country by the Lincolnshire fens; for he talks of
having got into "the bowels of the land" immediately on his arrival.