who are all provided with spittoons, though they are by no means compelled
to tie themselves down to the exclusive use of those expectorant
receptacles; on the contrary, much ingenuity is shown by some of the more
practised in picking out other deposits; a vast majority of the
Kentuckians will back themselves to "shoot through" the opposition
member's nose and eye-glass without touching "flesh or flints."

The prevailing opinion appears to be, that should we come to a fight they
will completely alter the costume of the country, and "whop us into fits."
Their style of elocution is masterly in the extreme, redolent with the
sagest deductions, and overflowing with a magnificent and truly Eastern
redundancy of the most poetical tropes. I will now proceed to give you an
extract from the celebrated speaker on the war side--"the renowned
Jonathan J. Twang."

"I rather calculate that tarnal, pisoned, alligator of a ring-tailed,
roaring, pestiferous, rattlesnake, that critter 'the Old Country,' would
jist about give up one half its skin, and wriggle itself slick out of the
other, rayther than go for to put our dander up at this present identical
out-and-out important critical crisis! I conceit their min'stry have got
jist about into as considerable a tarnation nasty fix, as a naked nigger
in the stocks when the mosquitoes are steaming up a little beyond high
pressure. I guess Prince Albert and the big uns don't find their seats
quite as soft as buttered eels in a mud bank! Look here--isn't it
considerable clear they're all funking like burnt Cayenne in a clay pipe;
or couldn't they have made a raise some how to get a ship of their own, or
borrow one, to send after that caged-up 'coon of a Macleod? It's my
notion, and pretty considerable clear to me, they're all bounce, like bad
chesnuts, very well to look at, but come to try them at the fire for a
roast, and they turn out puff and shell. They talk of war as the boy did