many miles from Long Branch. A commotion in fact, that struck dismay to
the heart of the proprietor, who, upon visiting the store-room near by,
was caught and detained, an invisible listener to the uproar.

"I 'clar ter gracious!" screamed the fat, colored cook, "I aint a-gwine
ter stan' it no longer! Po' white trash a-layin' up in bed all mornin,'
an' den it's eggs! Eggs biled, eggs scrabbled, an' homilies (omelettes)
tell yer can't res' nohow! I'se mazin' tired of it all, I tell yer! I'se
gwine ter quit--I is!"

"You'se gwine ter quit--you is! I speck! I'm done heerd dat talk eber
day dis month," jeered cook number two. "Ef you quits you kin jest bet
yer bottom dollar I aint a-gwine to stay. Got more'n I kin do now--I is."

"An' what yer reckon dis chile's goin' ter do den?" pertly chimed in the
mulatto kitchen maid. "I'm got all de runnin' roun' ter do, an' yer kin
jist bet I don't have no easy time. Quit as quick as yer please--all
of yer--I'll go 'long wid de crowd!" and with a toss of her woolly
bangs, she dumped a pan of potato peelings out at the door.

"Dry up! dry up!" broke in the head waiter, appearing on the scene in
true autocrat fashion. He boasted of "right smart book learnin'," and
was a recognised power in the land. "You don't have no trouble at all to
what I do. It's run here, there and everywhere, all in a minute, with a
dozen blockheads to look after. And it's precious few tips I get here,
I promise you! I never see as stingy a lot o' people in all my born
days. Say! you there, Jim! fetch that tray along! What are you gapin'
at, nigger?"

"Don't you nigger me, you black dude!" retorted the darkey, and as