"and on the inside yez said I was fired and on the outside yez said:
'Return to Baldwin Locomotive Works in five days.'"


"Well, George," said the president of the company to old George, "how
goes it?"

"Fair to middlin', sir," George answered. And he continued to
currycomb a bay horse.

"Me an' this here boss," George said, suddenly, "has worked for your
firm sixteen year."

"Well, well," said the president, thinking a little guiltily of
George's salary. "And I suppose you are both pretty highly valued,
George, eh?"

"H'm," said George, "the both of us was took sick last week, and they
got a doctor for the hoss, but they just docked my pay."


A plumber and a painter were working in the same house. The painter
arrived late and the plumber said to him, "You're late this morning."

"Yes," said the painter, "I had to stop and have my hair cut."

"You didn't do it on your employer's time, did you?" said the plumber.

"Sure, I did," said the painter; "It grew on his time."