Killing time.
Hanging pictures.
Stealing bases.
Shooting the chutes.
Choking off a speaker.
Running over a new song.
Smothering a laugh.
Setting fire to a heart.
Knifing a performance.
Murdering the English language.--_Judge_.


"Now, boys," said the schoolmaster, "I want you to bear in mind that
the word 'stan' at the end of a word means 'the place of.' Thus we
have Afghanistan--the place of the Afghans; also Hindustan--the place
of the Hindus. Can any one give me another example?"

Nobody appeared very anxious to do so, until little Johnny Snaggs, the
joy of his mother and the terror of the cats, said proudly--

"Yes, sir, I can. Umbrellastan--the place for umbrellas."


He went into a shop to buy a comb. He was a man careful of other
people's grammar, and believed himself to be careful of his own.

"Do you want a narrow man's comb?" asked the assistant.

"No," answered the careful grammarian, "I want a comb for a stout man
with tortoiseshell teeth."