"Is you-all the reperbate judge?"

"I am the judge of probate, mammy."

"I'se come to you-all 'cause I'se in trubble. Mah man--he's done
died detested and I'se got t'ree little infidels so I'se cum to be
appointed der execootioner."




ENGLISHMEN


At a dinner in New York an Englishman heard for the first time and,
probably after due explanation, was much amused by that "toasted"
chestnut:

"Here's to the happiest hours of my life,

"Spent in the arms of another man's wife:

"My mother."

Shortly after his return to England he was present at a banquet,
and thought he would get off the New York toast he had considered so
clever. At the proper time he rose and said:

"Here's to the happiest hours of my life,