began the Americans immediately made themselves scarce with great
rapidity.

When the danger had passed all started drifting back with the
exception of one man who did not appear till the next day.

"Well, where you been?" demanded the top kick, eyeing him coldly.

"Sergeant," replied the other earnestly, "I don't know where I been,
but I give you my word I been all day gettin' back."


"Who won the war?" asked the bright young goof behind the
soda-counter.

"Huh," ejaculated the ex-sergeant gruffly as he dug up the war-tax, "I
think we bought it."


A librarian confides to us that she was visited by a young lady who
wished to see a large map of France. She was writing a paper on the
battle-fields of France for a culture club, and she just couldn't find
Flanders Fields and No Man's Land on any of the maps in her books.


The trouble with the peace table is that the Allies want it _à la
carte_, and Wilson wants it American plan--_table d'hôte_.


_See also_ Exaggeration; Heroes; Soldiers; War.