"Two for a quarter."

"How much for vun?"

"Fifteen cents."

"Giff me de odder vun."



"Ikey," said the teacher, "can you give me a definition for 'a
bargain'?"

"Sure I can," smiled Ikey. "A bargain's when you get the best of
them."


Dad was not greatly pleased by the school report brought to him by his
hopeful.

"How is it?" he demanded, "that you stand so much lower in your
studies for the month of January than for December?"

Samuel was equal to the emergency. "Why, dad," said he, in an injured
tone, "don't you know that everything is marked down after the
holidays?"


Swapping dollars enriches nobody but swapping ideas enriches both
parties to the trade.