"You should have thought of that before you had them taken," was his
reply as he turned back to work.


"We're giving Baxby a farewell dinner and I'm to respond to the toast,
'None but the brave deserves the fair.'"

"Sorry for you, old top. You'll have to prove that Baxby is an utter
coward, or that he isn't getting what is his due."


The Chinese are not given to flattery. A gentleman called at a Chinese
laundry for his clothes. On receiving the package he noticed
some Chinese characters marked upon it. He asked, pointing to the
lettering:

"That's my name, I suppose?"

"No; 'scliption," was the Chinaman's bland reply. "'Lil ol' man,
closs-eyed, no teeth.'"--_Everybody's_.




BEGGING


"Some men have no hearts," said the tramp. "I've been a-tellin' that
feller I am so dead broke that I have to sleep outdoors."