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The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes - Historical, Literary, and Humorous—A New Selection by Various
page 111 of 185 (60%)


It was the same judge, we believe, between whom and Mr. Curran the
following pass of wit once took place at table. "Pray, Mr. Curran," said
the judge, "is that hung beef beside you? If it is, I will try it." "If
_you_ try it, my lord," replied Mr. Curran, "it is sure to be hung."


Keep to the Point.--Lord Tenterden contracted such an inveterate habit of
keeping himself and everybody else to the precise matter in hand, that
once, during a circuit dinner, having asked a country magistrate if he
would take venison, and receiving what he deemed an evasive reply, "Thank
you, my lord, I am going to take boiled chicken," his lordship sharply
retorted, "That, sir, is no answer to my question; I ask you again if you
will take venison, and I will trouble you to say yes or no, without further
prevarication."


Longs and Shorts.--There were two barristers at the Irish bar who formed a
singular contrast in their statures. Ninian Mahaffy, Esq., was as much
above the middle size as Mr. Collis was below it. When Lord Redesdale was
Lord Chancellor of Ireland, these two gentlemen chanced to be retained in
the same cause, a short time after his lordship's elevation, and before he
was personally acquainted with the Irish bar. Mr. Collis was opening the
motion, when the lord chancellor observed, "Mr. Collis, when a barrister
addresses the court, he must stand." "I am standing on the bench, my lord,"
said Collis. "I beg a thousand pardons," said his lordship, somewhat
confused. "Sit down, Mr. Mahaffy." "I am sitting, my lord," was the reply
to the confounded chancellor.

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