To make myself even more "solid," I gave out that I had been persuaded
to Christianity so strongly, of a sudden, that I contemplated studying
for the ministry. I even wrote my grandmother that this was what I
intended to do. And her simple, pious letter in return, prayerful with
thanks to God for my conversion so signal--in secret cut me to the
heart....

But it gave me a temporary pleasure, now, to be looked upon as "safe."
To be openly welcomed at prayer-meetings ... I acted, how I acted, the
ardent convert ... and how frightened I was, at myself, to find that, at
times, I believed that I believed!...

My former back-sliding was forgiven me.

And the passage of Tennyson about "one honest doubt" being more than
half the creeds, was quoted in my favour.

* * * * *

Field-day!...

* * * * *

I entered for the two-mile, to be run off in the morning ... for the
half-mile, the first thing in the afternoon ... the mile, which was to
be the last event, excepting the hammer-throw. My class, in a body, had
urged me to enter for all the "events" I could ... when the delegation
came, I welcomed them, with gratified self-importance, to my solitary
room. I invited them in, and they sat about ... on my single chair ...
my bed ... the floor....