direction, and chaunce-y it. We're always delighted to welcome Mr.
CHAUNCEY DEPEW in England, so let him come over with a Depewtation
to Mr. G. on the subject.

* * * * *

EQUESTRIAN FRUIT.--At the Horticultural Show the Baroness
BURDETT-COUTTS exhibited a "Cob of ADAM's Early Maize." No particulars
are given. Was it 14'1 and a weight-carrier? Being ADAM's, it must be
about the oldest in the world. "Maize" may be a misprint for "Mews."
Next time the Baroness must send a pear.

* * * * *

PROBABLE DEDUCTION.--A pertinacious Salvation Army Captain was
worrying a Scotch farmer, whom he had met in the train, with perpetual
inquiries as to whether "he had been born again of Water and the
Spirit?" At last, MCSANDY replied, "Aweel, I dinna reetly ken how
that may be, but my good old feyther and mither took their toddy
releegiously every nicht, the noo."

* * * * *

THE AUSTRO-GERMAN OFFICER'S VADE-MECUM.

_Q._ You have heard of the Ride from Berlin to Vienna, and _vice
versâ_?

_A._ Yes; and of the mishaps that befell many of the competitors.