Woodcock-dialogue, the scene being laid at lunch:--

[Illustration]

_First Sportsman_ (_pausing in his attack on a plateful of curried
rabbit_). By Jupiter! that was a smartish woodcock. I never saw the
beggar till he all but flew into my face, and then away he went, like
a streak of greased lightning. I let him have both barrels; but I
might as well have shot at a gnat. Still, I fancy I tickled him up
with my left.

_Second Sportsman_ (_a stout, jovial man, breaking in_). Tickled _him_
up! By gum, I thought _I_ was going to be tickled up, I tell you. Shot
was flying all round me--bang! bang! all over the place. I loosed
off twice at him, and then went down, to avoid punishment. Haven't a
notion what became of him.

_Third Sportsman_ (_choking with laughter at the recollection_). I saw
you go down, old cock. First go off, I thought you were hit: but, when
you got that old face of yours up, and began to holler "Wor guns!"
as if you meant to bust, why I jolly soon knew there wasn't much
the matter with _you_. Just look at him, you chaps. Do you think an
ordinary charge of shot would go through _that_? Not likely.

_Fourth Sportsman_ (_military man_). Gad, it was awful! I'd rather be
bucketed about by EVELYN WOOD for a week than face another woodcock. I
heard 'em shoutin', "Woodcock forward! Woodcock back! Woodcock to the
right! Woodcock to the left! Mark--mark!" Gad! thinks I to myself, the
bally place must be full of 'em. Just then out he came, as sly as be
blowed. My old bundook went off of its own accord. I bagged the best