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The History of Richard Raynal, Solitary by Robert Hugh Benson
page 20 of 130 (15%)
meadow at the hazels and the pigeons that were coming down to the wood,
and desired saint Giles to tell me what to say.

"It is this," he said. "Four days ago I was in contemplation, down
there by the stream. The sensible warmth of which I have told you was in
my heart; as it has been for over one year now, ever since I passed from
the way of illumination. I think that it had never been so clear and
strong. It was our Lord who was with me, and I perceived Him within as
He always shows Himself to me; I cannot tell you what He is like, but
there were roses on His hands and feet, and above His heart and about
His head. I have not often perceived Him so clearly. His Mother, I knew,
was a little distance away, behind me, and I wondered why it was so, and
the divine John was with her. Then I understood that He was lonely, but
no more than that: I did not know why. I said what I could, and then I
listened, but He said nothing to me, and then, after a while, I
understood that it was under another aspect that He was there; that
there was one in his place, crowned with gold instead of roses, and I
could not understand it. I was astonished and troubled by that, and the
warmth was not so strong at my heart.

"Then He was gone; and I saw the stream again beneath me, and the leaves
overhead, and there was sweat on my forehead.

"When I stood up there was a knowledge in my heart--I do not know
whether from our Lord or the fiend--that I must leave this place, and go
to one whom I thought must be the King with some message; but I do not
know the message."

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