The towpath critic he shook his head
(_Thornycroft's, where they began to row_):
"Hung over the stretcher" was what he said,
And "missed the beginning," and "hands too slow."

The towpath critic, whoe'er he be
(_A tug and some barges blocked the way_),
For thirty odd years, it seems to me,
Has never found anything else to say.

The towpath critic's remarks are trite
(_Off Ayling's Yard in a stiffish breeze_),
Yet I study religiously morn and night
Whole columns consisting of words like these.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MANNERS AND MODES.

THE COMPANY-PROMOTER'S PROBLEM--HOW TO UTILISE THE BOOM IN SPRING.]

* * * * *

THE GENIUS OF MR. BRADSHAW.

(_By our Literary Expert._)

No one will be surprised to hear that the Christian name of Mr.
BRADSHAW was George. Indeed, it is difficult to think what other name
a man of his calibre could have had. But many people will be surprised