affirming "that he rather carried it as one acting a play, than as one
in the presence of God in an ordinance."

In his answer to these, Mr. Cheever explained his actions as arising
from violent headaches, which, coming upon him usually "on the Lord's
day in the evening, and after church meeting," were mitigated by winding
his handkerchief around his head 'as a fillet.' As to his smiling or
laughing, "he knew not whether there was any more than a natural,
ordinary cheerfulness of countenance seeming to smile, which whether it
be sinful or avoidable by him, he knew not;" but he wished to humble
himself for the "least appearance of evil, and occasion of offence, and
to watch against it." As to his working with the church, he said: "I
must act with the church, and (which is uncomfortable) I must either act
with their light, or may expect to suffer, as I have done, and do at
this day, for conscience' sake; but I had rather suffer anything from
men than make a shipwreck of a good conscience or go against my present
light, though erroneous, when discovered."

He then went on to say that, while he did not wholly free himself from
blame as to his carriage, and as to his "want of wisdom and coolness in
ordering and uttering his speeches," yet he could not be convinced as
yet that he had been guilty of "Miriam's sin," or deserved the censure
which the church had inflicted upon him; and he could not look upon it
"as dispensed according to the rules of Christ." Then he closed his
address with the following words, which will give some idea of his
Christian spirit: "Yet I wait upon God for the discovery of truth in His
own time, either to myself or church, that what is amiss may be repented
of and reformed; that His blessing and presence may be among them and
upon His holy ordinances rightly dispensed, to His glory and their
present and everlasting comfort, which I heartily pray for, and am so