People have wondered WHY he fancied himself such a sinner? He
confesses to having been a liar and a blasphemer. If I may guess, I
fancy that this was merely the literary genius of Bunyan seeking for
expression. His lies, I would go bail, were tremendous romances,
wild fictions told for fun, never lies of cowardice or for gain. As
to his blasphemies, he had an extraordinary power of language, and
that was how he gave it play. "Fancy swearing" was his only
literary safety-valve, in those early days, when he played cat on
Elstow Green.

Then he heard a voice dart from heaven into his soul, which said,
"Wilt thou leave thy sins and go to heaven, or have thy sins and go
to hell?" So he fell on repentance, and passed those awful years of
mental torture, when all nature seemed to tempt him to the Unknown
Sin.

What did all this mean? It meant that Bunyan was within an ace of
madness.

It happens to a certain proportion of men, religiously brought up,
to suffer like Bunyan. They hear voices, they are afraid of that
awful unknown iniquity, and of eternal death, as Bunyan and Cowper
were afraid.

Was it not De Quincey who was at school with a bully who believed he
had been guilty of the unpardonable offence? Bullying is an offence
much less pardonable than most men are guilty of. Their best plan
(in Bunyan's misery) is to tell Apollyon that the Devil is an ass,
to do their work and speak the truth.