"It is vicious," said Pan, "to neglect the performance
of pleasant actions."

"If this be so," the other commented, "philosophy has
up to the present been on the wrong track."

"That is so," said Pan. "Philosophy is an immoral
practice because it suggests a standard of practice im-
possible of being followed, and which, if it could be fol-
lowed, would lead to the great sin of sterility."

"The idea of virtue," said the Philosopher, with some
indignation, "has animated the noblest intellects of the
world."

"It has not animated them," replied Pan; "it has hyp-
notised them so that they have conceived virtue as re-
pression and self-sacrifice as an honourable thing instead
of the suicide which it is."

"Indeed," said the Philosopher; "this is very interest-
ing, and if it is true the whole conduct of life will have
to be very much simplified."

"Life is already very simple," said Pan; "it is to
be born and to die, and in the interval to eat and drink,
to dance and sing, to marry and beget children."

"But it is simply materialism," cried the Philosopher.