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The Turkish Jester - or, The Pleasantries of Cogia Nasr Eddin Effendi by Hoca Nasreddin
page 19 of 40 (47%)

One day Nasr Eddin Efendi went to the mountain to cut wood; after he had
cut the wood he loaded his ass, and began to drive him home. The
Efendi's ass, however, would hardly move. A person coming up, said, 'Put
a little sal ammoniac into the --- of the ass.' The Cogia finding a
little sal ammoniac, put it in; whereupon the ass began to run so quickly
that the Cogia was left far behind. 'I would fain see the cause of
this,' said the Cogia, and clapped a little of the sal ammoniac to his
own ---. No sooner had he done so than the Cogia's posterior began to
swell, and he set off running so quickly that he soon got before the ass,
and ran straight home, but not being able to contain himself in the
house, he ran about it, and observing his wife, he said, 'O wife,
whenever you wish me to get me on, do you stick a little sal ammoniac in
my ---.'

One day a man came to the house of the Cogia and asked him to lend him
his ass. 'He is not at home,' replied the Cogia. But it so happened
that the ass began to bray within. 'O Cogia Efendi,' said the man, 'you
say that the ass is not at home, and there he is braying within.' 'What
a strange fellow you are!' said the Cogia. 'You believe the ass, but
will not believe a grey-bearded man like me.'

One day the Cogia said to his wife, 'O wife, how do you know when a man
is dead?' 'I know it by his hands and feet being cold,' said she. One
day as the Cogia was going to the mountain for wood, he felt cold in his
hands and feet; whereupon he said, 'I am a dead man,' and laid himself
down at the foot of a tree. Some wolves, however, coming up and
beginning to devour his ass, the Cogia shouted to the wolves from the
place where he was lying, 'The ass is dead, it seems, and not the
master.'
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