that I was yet a stranger to such a father. I loved him, and felt how
much good resulted from that love; so I took the resolution to write to
my father, and by letter to show him my true nature, so far as I could
understand myself. Long did I revolve this letter in my mind; never did
I feel strength nor courage to write it. Meanwhile a letter called me
back home in November, after I had been some months engaged on the
estate. I was called upon to help my father, now quite weak and almost
bedridden; at all events I could assist him in his correspondence.
Family and other cares and the activities of life absorbed my whole
time. What I meant to have done in my letter now happily became possible
in speech from man to man, in glances from eye to eye. My father was
occupied by cares for my future prospects up till the end. He died in
February 1802. May his enlightened spirit look down full of peace and
blessing upon me as I write; may he now be content with that son who so
loved him!

I now stood in every respect my own master, and might decide the
direction of my future life for myself, according to the circumstances
which lay around me. With this intention I once more left the paternal
roof at Easter, to undertake the post of clerk in the Office of Woods
and Forests which formed one part of the general administration (divided
into Treasury, Woods and Forests, and Tithe departments) of the as yet
episcopal territory of Bamberg.[24] My district lay amidst unusual and
lovely scenery; my duties were light, and when they were over I was free
to roam in the neighbourhood, now doubly beautiful in the springtime, to
live out my life in freedom, and gain strength for mind and soul.

Thus once again I lived much out of doors and in companionship with
Nature. My chief was proud of the possession of a considerable library,
of which I made good use; and in this manner many of the publications