alone for me--that is, as self-development--now took an objective form,
a change which was distinctly painful to me. Long, long it was before I
could bring this business of education into a form expressible by words.
I only knew education, and I could only educate, through direct personal
association. This, then, I cultivated to the best of my power, following
the path whither my vocation and my life now called me.

To say truth, I had a silent inward reluctance towards private
tutorship. I felt the constant interruptions and the piece-meal nature
of the work inseparable from the conditions of the case, and hence I
suspected that it might want vitality; but the trusting indulgence with
which I was met, and especially the clear, bright, friendly glance which
greeted me from the two younger lads, decided me to undertake to give
the boys lessons for two hours a day, and to share their walks. The
actual teaching was to be in arithmetic and German. The first was soon
arranged. I simply followed Pestalozzi's course. But as to the language
I encountered great difficulties. I began by teaching it from the
regular school-books then used, and indeed still in use. I prepared
myself to the best of my ability for each lesson, and worked up whatever
I felt myself ignorant of in the most careful and diligent way. But the
mode of teaching employed in these books frustrated my efforts. I could
neither get on myself nor get my pupils on with it. So I began to take
for my method Pestalozzi's "Mothers' Book." In this way we went on much
better, but still I was not satisfied; and, indeed, I may say that for a
very long time no system of instruction in German did satisfy me.

In arithmetic, by using the "Tables of Units"[52] in Pestalozzi's
pamphlet, I arrived at the same results which I had seen in
Switzerland. Very often my pupils had the answer ready when the last
word of the question had scarcely been spoken. Yet I presently found out