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[Illustration: PARADISE LOST AGAIN?

MR. ASQUITH (_to John Bull_). "OF COURSE MESOPOTAMIA IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE,
AND NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ANXIOUS TO VACATE THE GARDEN OF EDEN; BUT YOU MUST
REFLECT THAT THE COST OF ITS UPKEEP HAS INCREASED ENORMOUSLY SINCE ADAM'S
TIME."]

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[Illustration: _Lady of the Manor._ "HOWDY, BO? SIT RIGHT DOWN. I SURE HOPE
YOU'RE FEELING FULL OF PEP! EXCUSE ME, VICAR, BUT I'M PRACTISING A FEW
PHRASES SO THAT IN CASE I MEET ANY OF THIS AMERICAN INVASION I CAN MAKE
THEM FEEL AT HOME."]

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A NOTE ON CHESTERFIELDS.

In the Soviet Republic of Russia, I am told, no one can lay claim to the
title of worker unless his hands are hardened and roughened by toil, and
LENIN and TROTSKY have to take their turns at the rack, like the commonest
executioner. In England we are not nearly so particular about the manual
test, and, besides feeling quite kindly disposed towards professional
footballers, tea-tasters and the men who stand on Cornish cliffs and shout
when they see the pilchard shoals come in, we still give a certain amount
of credit to mere brain-work as well.