BOTH (_together_). "TIENS! LE TIGRE!"

[M. CLEMENCEAU has just sailed for India after big game.]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Wife (peeved at husband going off to football match on
the anniversary of their wedding-day_). "'AVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT 'APPENED
THIS DAY SEVEN YEARS AGO?"

_The Husband_. "FORGOTTEN? NOT LIKELY, OLD GIRL. WHY, THAT WAS THE DAY
BOLTON ROVERS BEAT ASTON UNITED FIVE--NOTHING."]

* * * * *

NEW RHYMES FOR OLD CHILDREN.

THE SNAIL.

The life of the snail is a fight against odds,
Though fought without fever or flummox;
You see, he is one of those gasteropods
Which have to proceed on their stomachs.

Just think how you'd hate to go round on your own,
Especially if it was gummy,
And wherever you travelled you left on a stone
The horrid imprint of your tummy!

Wherever you hid, by that glutinous trail