of them were apprehensive I had but a short time to continue in my
career of folly, and should be suddenly cut off. Thus passed the last
winter of my gay life."

During the spring of 1806, she began regularly to attend a series of
conference meetings in Bradford, her native town. She soon felt that the
Spirit of God was operating on her mind. Amusements lost their relish;
she felt that she must have a new heart or perish forever; and she often
sought solitude, that she might, unseen by others, weep over her
deplorable state. Soon, however, her fears that her distress might be
noticed by her companions, were merged in her greater terrors of
conscience, and she "was willing the whole universe should know that she
felt herself to be a lost and perishing sinner." Her distress increased
as she became more and more sensible of the depravity of her heart, and
the holiness and sovereignty of God. Her mind rose in rebellion against
a Being, who after all her prayers and tears and self-denial, still
withheld from her the blessing of pardon and peace. She says, "In this
state I longed for annihilation, and if I could have destroyed the
existence of my soul with as much ease as that of my body, I should
quickly have done it. But that glorious Being who is kinder to his
creatures than they are to themselves, did not leave me to remain in
this distressing state." The plan of salvation through a crucified
Redeemer, gradually unfolded itself before her; she began to take
delight in those attributes of God which before had filled her with
abhorrence; and although she did not at first imagine that this was the
new heart for which she had sought so earnestly, yet she was constrained
to commit all her interests for time and eternity unreservedly to that
Saviour, who now seemed infinitely worthy of the service of her whole
existence.[1]