was Mr. Waffles; a most enterprising youth, just on the verge of arriving
of age, and into the possession of a very considerable amount of charming
ready money.

Were it not that a 'proud aristocracy,' as Sir Robert Peel called them,
have shown that they can get over any little deficiency of birth if there
is sufficiency of cash, we should have thought it necessary to make the
best of Mr. Waffles' pedigree, but the tide of opinion evidently setting
the other way, we shall just give it as we had it, and let the proud
aristocracy reject him if they like. Mr. Waffles' father, then, was either
a great grazier or a great brazier--which, we are unable to say, 'for a
small drop of ink having fallen,' not 'like dew,' but like a black beetle,
on the first letter of the word in our correspondent's communication, it
may do for either--but in one of which trades he made a 'mint of money,'
and latish on in life married a lady who hitherto had filled the honourable
office of dairy-maid in his house; she was a fine handsome woman and a year
or two after the birth of this their only child, he departed this life,
nearer eighty than seventy, leaving an 'inconsolable,' &c., who
unfortunately contracted matrimony with a master pork-butcher, before she
got the fine flattering white monument up, causing young Waffles to be
claimed for dry-nursing by that expert matron the High Court of Chancery;
who, of course, had him properly educated--where, it is immaterial to
relate, as we shall step on till we find him at college.

Our friend, having proved rather too vivacious for the Oxford Dons, had
been recommended to try the effects of the Laverick Wells, or any other
waters he liked, and had arrived with a couple of hunters and a hack, much
to the satisfaction of the neighbouring master of hounds and his huntsman;
for Waffles had ridden over and maimed more hounds to his own share, during
the two seasons he had been at Oxford, than that gentleman had been in the