many women,--was denied me. Still, the spell of Nature was upon me,
and for a time I dreamed that a depth of passionate love like mine, a
life of loyal devotion might wrap one man round, and keep him
safe--might in fact, work a miracle--and make one polygamous man
monogamous. But, even while that hope was in my heart, reason rose up
and mocked it, bidding me advance into the Future at my peril. I did
it, but I made a bargain with myself, I agreed to abide the
consequences--and to abide them calmly."

"And during all those days when I supposed we were so near
together--you showed me nothing of this that was in your heart."

"Men and women know very rarely anything of the great struggles that
go on in the hearts of one another. Besides, I knew how easily you
would reply--naturally. We are all on the defensive in this life. It
was with things deeper than words that I was dealing--the things one
_does_--not says. Even in the early days of our engagement I knew that
I was not as essential to you as you were to me. Life held other
interests for you. Even the flattery of other women still had its
charm for you. Young as I was, I said to myself: 'If you marry this
man--with your eyes open--blame yourself, not him, if you suffer.' I
do believe that I have been able to do that."

Shattuck was astride his chair again, his elbows on the back, his chin
in his hands. He no longer responded. Words were dangerous. His lips
were pressed close together, and there was a long deep line between
his eyes.

"My love for you absorbed every other emotion of my life. But I seemed
to lack some of the qualities that aid to reconcile other wives to