"If you mind the expense, I could take one of your old short night-gowns
and color it black, and set some embroidery onto it. I could cut some
figgers out of creton--it wouldn't be much work. Why," sez he, "I could
pin 'em on--no, dum it all," sez he, "I couldn't set down in it, but I
could glue 'em on."

But I sez, "If you want to foller the Japans I could tell you a custom
of theirn, and I would give ten cents willin'ly to see you foller it."

"What is that?" sez he, ready, as I could see, to ornament himself, or
shave his hair, or dress up his big toe, or anything.

But I sez, "It is their politeness, Josiah Allen."

"I'd be a dum fool if I wuz in your place," sez he. "What do I want to
foller 'em for? I am polite, and always wuz."

I looked coldly at him, and sez I--

"Japans wouldn't call their wives a dum fool no quicker than they would
take their heads off."

Sez he, conscience-struck, "I didn't call you one. I said _I_ would be
one if I wuz in your place--I wuz a-demeanin' myself, Samantha."

Sez I, not mindin' his persiflage, "The Japans are the politest nation
on the earth; they say cheatin' and lyin' hain't polite, and so they
don't want to foller 'em; they hitch principle and politeness right up
in one team and ride after it."