as far as I could my inmost life. My heart is full and I would say a
great deal more. Truly, a new life has opened to me, and to turn
backward would be death. Not suddenly has it undergone this change,
but it has come to that crisis where my decision must be made; hence
am I forced to write this letter. For its answer I shall wait with
intense anxiety. Hoping you will write soon, my love to all.--ISAAC."

The next letter, though addressed to his brothers, was apparently
intended for the whole family, and begins with more than Isaac's
customary abruptness:

"Chelsea, December 28, 1842.--I will open my mind so that you can
have the materials to judge from as well as myself. I feel unable to
the task of judging alone correctly. I have given an account of my
state of mind in my former letter, but will add that what is there
said describes a permanent state, not a momentary excitement. You may
think that in a little time this would pass away, and I would be able
to resume my former life; or, at least, you could so adapt things at
home that although I should not precisely occupy myself as then,
still it might be so arranged as to give me that which I feel
necessary in order to live somewhat contented.

"I am sorry to say I can in no way conceive such an arrangement of
things at home. Why? I hate to say it, yet we might as well come to
an understanding. I have grown out of the life which can be received
through the accustomed channels of the circle that was around me. I
am subject to thoughts and feelings which the others had no interest
in; hence they could not be expressed. There can be no need to tell
you this--you all must have seen it. How can I stop my life from
flowing on? You must see the case I stand in. Do not think I have