an' will be an aldherman afther next Thursdah, an' it's why other people
are sinding him flowers.

"This is th' way a rayform candydate is ilicted. Th' boys down town has
heerd that things ain't goin' r-right somehow. Franchises is bein'
handed out to none iv thim; an' wanst in a while a mimber iv th' club,
comin' home a little late an' thryin' to riconcile a pair iv r-round
feet with an embroidered sidewalk, meets a sthrong ar-rm boy that pushes
in his face an' takes away all his marbles. It begins to be talked that
th' time has come f'r good citizens f'r to brace up an' do somethin',
an' they agree to nomynate a candydate f'r aldherman. 'Who'll we put
up?' says they. 'How's Clarence Doolittle?' says wan. 'He's laid up with
a coupon thumb, an' can't r-run.' 'An' how about Arthur Doheny?' 'I
swore an oath whin I came out iv colledge I'd niver vote f'r a man that
wore a made tie.' 'Well, thin, let's thry Willie Boye.' 'Good,' says th'
comity. 'He's jus' th' man f'r our money.' An' Willie Boye, after
thinkin' it over, goes to his tailor an' ordhers three dozen pairs iv
pants, an' decides f'r to be th' sthandard-bearer iv th' people. Musin'
over his fried eyesthers an' asparagus an' his champagne, he bets a polo
pony again a box of golf-balls he'll be ilicted unanimous; an' all th'
good citizens make a vow f'r to set th' alar-rm clock f'r half-past
three on th' afthernoon iv iliction day, so's to be up in time to vote
f'r th' riprisintitive iv pure gover'mint.

"'Tis some time befure they comprehind that there ar-re other candydates
in th' field. But th' other candydates know it. Th' sthrongest iv
thim--his name is Flannigan, an' he's a re-tail dealer in wines an'
liquors, an' he lives over his establishment. Flannigan was nomynated
enthusyastically at a prim'ry held in his bar-rn; an' befure Willie Boye
had picked out pants that wud match th' color iv th' Austhreelyan ballot