GUEST--So glad you have a pleasant evening. I am sure to have a bad
night whenever I entertain--

HOSTESS--(_to another guest_)--So delightful of you to come!

GUEST--Such a perfect evening! I'm _so_ glad. I said as we started out,
"Now, this time, Mrs. Smythe can't help but have plenty of people.
Whenever I entertain, it's sure to--" (_More guests._)

(_Telegram arrives, announcing that the prima donna has a sore throat,
and will be unable to come. Time passes._)

MALE GUEST (_to another_)--Well, I wish to heaven, something would be
doing soon. This is the deadest affair I was ever up against.

OMNIPRESENT JOKER (_greeting acquaintance_)--Hello, old man!--going to
sing to-night?

ACQUAINTANCE--Oh, yes, going to sing a solo.

JOKER--So low you can't hear it? Ha, ha! (_Guests near by groan._)

VOICE (_overheard_)--Madame Cully? My dear, she always tells you that
you haven't half enough material, and makes you get yards more. Besides,
she never sends your pieces back, though I have--

FAT OLD LADY (_to neighbor_)--I never was so warm in my life! I can't
imagine why people invite you, just to make you uncomfortable. Now, when
I entertain, I have the windows open for hours before any one comes.