originally delivered, I took him by the throat, and shet off the flood
uv his elokence.

"Be quiet, yoo idiot!" remarked I, soothingly, to him. "Yoo'll git your
apintment, becoz, for the fust time in the history uv this or any other
Republic, there's a market for jist sich men ez yoo; but all this
blather won't fetch it a minit sooner."

"Good Lord!" tho't I, ez I turned away, "wat a President A.J. is, to hev
to buy up _sich_ cattle! Wat a postmaster he must be, whose gineral
cussedness turns _my_ stummick!"

It wuz deemed necessary to see uv wat we wuz compozed; whatever Kernel
K----, who is now Collector uv Revenue in Illinoy, asked ef there wuz
ary man in the room who hed bin a prizner doorin the late fratricidle
struggle. A gentleman uv, perhaps, thirty aroze, and sed he wuz. He hed
bin taken three times, and wuz, altogether, 18 months in doorance vile
in three diffrent prizns.

Custar fell on his neck, and asked him, aggitatidly, ef he wuz
shoor--quite shoor, after sufferin all that, that he supported the
policy of the President? Are you quite shoor--quite shoor?

"I am," returned the phenomenon. "I stand by Andrew Johnson and his
policy, and I don't want no office!"

"Hev yoo got wun?" shouted they all in korus.

"Nary!" sed he. "With me it is a matter uv principle!"