to know who she was. Some said it was Melba, others Nordica. Bud and I
decided that it was May Irwin. We were mistaken, though, as Irwin has
this woman lashed to the mast at any time or place. As soon as Mike the
Dago espied the dame it was all off. He rushed and drove a straight-arm
jab, which had it reached would have given him the purse. But shifty
Sadie wasn't there. She ducked, side-stepped, and landed a clever
half-arm hook, which seemed to stun the big fellow. They clinched, and
swayed back and forth, growling continually, while the orchestra played
this trembly Eliza-crossing-the-ice music. Jim, I'm not swelling this a
bit. On the level, it happened just as I write it. All of a sudden some
one seemed to win. They broke away, and ran wildly to the front of the
stage with their arms outstretched, yelling to beat three of a kind. The
band cut loose something fierce. The leader tore out about $9.00 worth
of hair, and acted generally as though he had bats in his belfry. I
thought sure the place would be pinched. It reminded me of Thirsty
Thornton's dance-hall out in Merrill, Wisconsin, when the Silent Swede
used to start a general survival of the fittest every time Mamie the
Mink danced twice in succession with the young fellow from Albany, whose
father owned the big mill up Rough River. Of course, this audience was
perfectly orderly, and showed no intention whatever of cutting in, and
there were no chairs or glasses in the air, but I am forced to admit
that the opera had Thornton's faded for noise. I asked Bud what the
trouble was, and he answered that I could search him. The audience
apparently went wild. Everybody said "Simply sublime!" "Isn't it grand?"
"Perfectly superb!" "Bravo!" etc.; not because they really enjoyed it,
but merely because they thought it was the proper thing to do. After
that for three solid hours Rough House Mike and Shifty Sadie seemed to
be apologizing to the audience for their disgraceful street brawl, which
was honestly the only good thing in the show. Along about twelve o'clock
I thought I would talk over old times with Bud, but when I turned his