{ 1. The real John; known only to his Maker.
{ 2. John's ideal John; never the real one, and often
Three Johns { very unlike him.
{ 3. Thomas's ideal John; never the real John, nor
{ John's John, but often very unlike either.

{ 1. The real Thomas.
Three Thomases { 2. Thomas's ideal Thomas.
{ 3. John's ideal Thomas.

Only one of the three Johns is taxed; only one can be weighed on a
platform-balance; but the other two are just as important in the
conversation. Let us suppose the real John to be old, dull and
ill-looking. But as the Higher Powers have not conferred on men the gift
of seeing themselves in the true light, John very possibly conceives
himself to be youthful, witty, and fascinating, and talks from the point
of view of this ideal. Thomas, again believes him to be an artful rogue,
we will say; therefore he _is_ so far as Thomas's attitude in the
conversation is concerned, an artful rogue, though really simple and
stupid. The same conditions apply to the three Thomases. It follows,
that, until a man can be found who knows himself as his Maker knows him,
or who sees himself as others see him, there must be at least six
persons engaged in every dialogue between two. Of these, the least
important, philosophically speaking, is the one that we have called the
real person. No wonder two disputants often get angry, when there are
six of them talking and listening all at the same time.

[A very unphilosophical application of the above remarks was made by a
young fellow, answering to the name of John, who sits near me at table.
A certain basket of peaches, a rare vegetable, little known to boarding