&c., &c., our spiritual indigestion tabloids will afford unfailing and
immediate relief.

"_N.B_.--A bottle or two of our Sunchild Cordial will assist the
operation of the tabloids."

The second and last that I can give was as follows:-

"All else is useless. If you wish to be a social success, make
yourself a good listener. There is no short cut to this. A would-be
listener must learn the rudiments of his art and go through the mill
like other people. If he would develop a power of suffering fools
gladly, he must begin by suffering them without the gladness.
Professor Proser, ex-straightener, certificated bore, pragmatic or
coruscating, with or without anecdotes, attends pupils at their own
houses. Terms moderate.

"Mrs. Proser, whose success as a professional mind-dresser is so well-
known that lengthened advertisement is unnecessary, prepares ladies or
gentlemen with appropriate remarks to be made at dinner-parties or at-
homes. Mrs. P. keeps herself well up to date with all the latest
scandals."

"Poor, poor, straighteners!" said my father to himself. "Alas! that it
should have been my fate to ruin you--for I suppose your occupation is
gone."

Tearing himself away from the College of Spiritual Athletics and its
affiliated shop, he passed on a few doors, only to find himself looking
in at what was neither more nor less than a chemist's shop. In the