I tell you she just makes me boil."

Allowing for the difference between the masculine and feminine
outlook, this is precisely how I used to feel when reading of the
hero. He was not always good; sometimes he hit the villain harder
than he had intended, and then he was sorry--when it was too late,
blamed himself severely, and subscribed towards the wreath. Like the
rest of us, he made mistakes; occasionally married the wrong girl.
But how well he did everything!--does still for the matter of that, I
believe. Take it that he condescends to play cricket! He never
scores less than a hundred--does not know how to score less than a
hundred, wonders how it could be done, supposing, for example, you
had an appointment and wanted to catch an early train. I used to
play cricket myself, but I could always stop at ten or twenty. There
have been times when I have stopped at even less.

It is the same with everything he puts his hand to. Either he does
not care for boating at all, or, as a matter of course, he pulls
stroke in the University Boat-race; and then takes the train on to
Henley and wins the Diamond Sculls so easily that it hardly seems
worth while for the other fellow to have started. Were I living in
Novel-land, and had I entered for the Diamond Sculls, I should put it
to my opponent before the word was given to us to go.

"One minute!" I should have called out to him. "Are you the hero of
this novel, or, like myself, only one of the minor characters?
Because, if you are the hero you go on; don't you wait for me. I
shall just pull as far as the boathouse and get myself a cup of tea."

[Because it always seems to be his Day.]