with the air would have filled him with a quiet satisfaction, but
during the last four years he had lost gradually his
sensitiveness to external things--to the changes of the seasons
as to the beauties of an autumn sunrise. A clear morning had
ceased to arouse in him the old buoyant energy, and he had lost
the zest of muscular exertion which had done so much to sweeten
his labour in the fields. It was as if a clog fettered his
simplest no less than his greatest emotion; and his enjoyment of
nature had grown dull and spiritless, like his affection for his
family. With his sisters he was aware that a curious constraint
had become apparent, and it was no longer possible for him to
meet his mother with the gay deference she still exacted. There
were times, even, when he grew almost suspicious of Cynthia's
patience, and at such moments his irritation was manifested in a
sullen reserve. To himself he could give no explanation of his
state of mind; he knew merely that he retreated day by day
farther into the shadow of his loneliness, and that, while in his
heart he still craved human sympathy, an expression of it even
from those he loved was, above all, the thing he most bitterly
resented. A light flashed in the kitchen, and he went on slowly
toward the house. As he reached the back porch he saw that Lila
was sitting at the kitchen window looking wearily out into the
dusk. The firelight scintillated in her eyes, and as she turned
quickly at a sound within the room he noticed with a pang that
the sparkles were caused by teardrops on her lashes. His heart
quickened at the sight of her drooping figure, and an impulse
seized him to go in and comfort her at any cost. Then his severe
constraint laid an icy hold upon him, and he hesitated with his
hand upon the door.