Boyhood by Leo Nikoleyevich Tolstoy
page 90 of 105 (85%)
page 90 of 105 (85%)
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Lubotshka once more, and gave vent to one of the slang words which we
then affected among ourselves--words which always called forth hilarity; and in a moment we were laughing again. Just as we reached home, I was opening my mouth to make a splendid grimace at Lubotshka when my eye fell upon a black coffin-cover which was leaning against the gate--and my mouth remained fixed in its gaping position. "Your Grandmamma is dead," said St. Jerome as he met us. His face was very pale. Throughout the whole time that Grandmamma's body was in the house I was oppressed with the fear of death, for the corpse served as a forcible and disagreeable reminder that I too must die some day--a feeling which people often mistake for grief. I had no sincere regret for Grandmamma, nor, I think, had any one else, since, although the house was full of sympathising callers, nobody seemed to mourn for her from their hearts except one mourner whose genuine grief made a great impression upon me, seeing that the mourner in question was--Gasha! She shut herself up in the garret, tore her hair and refused all consolation, saying that, now that her mistress was dead, she only wished to die herself. I again assert that, in matters of feeling, it is the unexpected effects that constitute the most reliable signs of sincerity. Though Grandmamma was no longer with us, reminiscences and gossip about her long went on in the house. Such gossip referred mostly to her will, which she had made shortly before her death, and of which, as yet, no one knew the contents except her bosom friend, Prince Ivan Ivanovitch. |
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