in His sight. I am sure something is lacking, though I know not what
it is.

MAY Helen is going to stay here and live with Martha How glad how
enchanted I am! Old Mr. Underhill is getting well; I saw him to-day.
He can talk of nothing but his illness, of Martha's wonderful skill
in nursing him declaring that he owes his life to her. I felt a
little piqued at this speech, because Ernest was very attentive to
him, and no doubt did his share towards the cure. We have fitted up
father's room for a nursery. Hitherto all the children have had to
sleep in our room which has been bad for them and bad for us. I have
been so afraid they would keep Ernest awake if they were unwell and
restless. I have secured an excellent nurse, who is as fresh and
blooming as the flower whose name she bears. The children are already
attached to her, and I feel that the worst of my life is now over.

JUNE.-Little Ernest was taken sick on the day I wrote that. The
attack was fearfully sudden and violent. He is still very, very ill.
I have not forgotten that I said once that I would give my children
to God should He ask for them. but oh, this agony of suspense! It
eats into my soul and eats it away. Oh, my little Ernest! My
first-born son! My pride, my joy, my hope! And I thought the worst of
my life was over!

AUGUST.-We have come into the country with what God has left us, our
two youngest children. Yes, I have tasted the bitter cup of
bereavement, and drunk it down to its dregs. I gave my darling to
God, I gave him, I gave him! But, oh, with what anguish I saw those
round, dimpled limbs wither and waste away, the glad smile fade
forever from that beautiful face! What a fearful thing it is to be a