"I am afflicted, and ready to die from my youth up, while I suffer
thy terrors I am distracted. Thy wrath lieth hard upon me and thou
hast afflicted me with all thy waves. All thy waves and thy billows
have gone over me. Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and
mine acquaintance into utter dark ness."

Yet through it all what grateful joy in God, what expressions of
living faith and devotion! During my long illness and confinement to
my room, the Bible has been almost a new book to me, and I see that
God has always dealt with His children as He deals with them now, and
that no new thing has befallen me. All these weary days so full of
languor, these nights so full of unrest, have had their appointed
mission to my soul. And perhaps I have had no discipline so salutary
as this forced inaction and uselessness, at a time when youth and
natural energy continually cried out for room and work.

AUGUST 15.-I dragged out my drawing materials in a listless way this
morning, and began to sketch the beautiful scene from my window. At
first I could not feel interested. It seemed as if my hand was
crippled and lost its cunning when it unloosed its grasp of little
Ernest, and let him go. But I prayed, as I worked, that I might not
yield to the inclination to despise and throw away the gift with
which God has Himself endowed me. Mother was gratified, and said it
rested her to see me act like myself once more. Ah, I have been very
selfish, and have been far too much absorbed with my sorrow and my
illness and my own petty struggles.

AUGUST 19.-I met to-day an old friend, Maria Kelly, who is married,
it seems, and settled down in this pretty village. She asked so many