And do what I can, the money Ernest gives me will not hold out. He
knows absolutely nothing about that hydra-headed monster, a
household. I, have had to go back to sewing as furiously as ever. And
with the sewing the old pain in the side has come back, and the
sharp, quick speech that I hate, and, that Ernest hates, and that
everybody hates. I groan, being burdened, and am almost weary of my
life. And my prayers are all mixed up with worldly thoughts and
cares. I am appalled at all the things that have got to be done
before winter, and am tempted to cut short my devotions in order to
have more time to accomplish what I must accomplish.

How have I got into this slough? When was it that I came down from
the Mount where I had seen the Lord, and came back to make these
miserable, petty things as much my business as ever? Oh, these
fluctuations in my religious life amaze me! I cannot, doubt that I am
really God's child; it would be dishonor to Him to doubt it. I cannot
doubt that I have held as real communion with Him as with any earthly
friend-and oh, it has been far sweeter!

OCT. 20.-I made a parting visit to Mrs. Campbell to day, and, as
usual, have come away strengthened and refreshed. She said all sorts
of kind things to cheer and encourage me, and stimulated me to take
up the burden of life cheerfully and patiently, just as it comes. She
assures me that these fluctuations of feeling will by degrees give
place to a calmer life, especially if I avoid, so far as I can do it,
all unnecessary work, distraction and hurry. And a few quiet, resting
words from her have given me courage to press on toward perfection,
no matter how much imperfection I see in myself and others. And now I
am waiting for my Father's next gift, and the new cares and labors it
will bring with it. I am glad it is not left for me to decide my own