on the pressure of certain springs, as duty, reflection, and the
like; without the impulse of which, thou wouldst doubtless have
me believe thou wouldst not budge an inch! But have I not seen
Gravity out of his bed at midnight? and must I, in plain terms,
remind thee of certain mad pranks? Thou hadst ever, with the
gravest sentiments in thy mouth and the most starched reserve in
thy manner, a kind of lumbering proclivity towards mischief,
although with more inclination to set it a-going than address to
carry it through; and I cannot but chuckle internally, when I
think of having seen my most venerable monitor, the future
president of some high Scottish court, puffing, blowing, and
floundering, like a clumsy cart-horse in a bog where his efforts
to extricate himself only plunged him deeper at every awkward
struggle, till some one--I myself, for example--took compassion
on the moaning monster, and dragged him out by mane and tail.

As for me, my portrait is, if possible, even more scandalously
caricatured, I fail or quail in spirit at the upcome! Where
canst thou show me the least symptom of the recreant temper, with
which thou hast invested me (as I trust) merely to set off the
solid and impassible dignity of thine own stupid indifference?
If you ever saw me tremble, be assured that my flesh, like that
of the old Spanish general, only quaked at the dangers into which
my spirit was about to lead it. Seriously, Alan, this imputed
poverty of spirit is a shabby charge to bring against your
friend. I have examined myself as closely as I can, being, in
very truth, a little hurt at your having such hard thoughts of
me, and on my life I can see no reason for them. I allow you
have, perhaps, some advantage of me in the steadiness and
indifference of your temper; but I should despise myself, if I